Easton Adams Drives To His Cousin’s House


After a year of nagging him, I finally convinced my cousin to hangout with me! He’s been so hesitant because he’s pretty shy. There’s a girl in my town that has a restraining order on him though, so I had to drive to him. He lives with my ex-Aunt. I call her my ex-aunt because my biological uncle and her got divorced, so she’s technically not my aunt anymore. Anyways, I got in the car to make the one hour voyage to their house.


I was listening to Madvillain on the drive to his house. Madvillainy is like my favorite album, I have it on repeat every time I step into the car. Though no matter how many times I listen to it, I can never even come close to memorizing Doom’s raps. He was so ahead of his time.

Close but no krills, toast for po nils, post no bills. Coast to coast Joe Shmoe’s flows ill, go chill. Not supposed to overdose on No-Doz pills.

I wish I could be as amazing with words as Doom. The way he rhymes words that share no context, and have them actually make sense, makes me want to cry. I’m tearing up in the car right now actually. This is why I need to stop getting driving high. One of these days I’m going to get in another car accident, and I might actually die. Than again, dying sounds like it could be fun, unless you actually die. If I get in a near fatal accident, I would have so much attention on me, plus I would have an excuse to sleep all day.

Old friends and family would be coming out of the woodwork to bring balloons and flowers to my hospital bed! Hopefully they bring white flowers, those are my new favorite kind honestly. Dude, now I’m way too excited thinking about risking death just to get 15 minutes of fame, then again, I’m pretty sure people have done worse things for attention. Oh well, I just made it to Edgar’s house. Maybe the thought bubble will still be waiting for me in the car once I leave.


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