Easton Adams Drives To His Cousin’s House


After a year of nagging him, I finally convinced my cousin to hangout with me! He’s been so hesitant because he’s pretty shy. There’s a girl in my town that has a restraining order on him though, so I had to drive to him. He lives with my ex-Aunt. I call her my ex-aunt because my biological uncle and her got divorced, so she’s technically not my aunt anymore. Anyways, I got in the car to make the one hour voyage to their house.


I was listening to Madvillain on the drive to his house. Madvillainy is like my favorite album, I have it on repeat every time I step into the car. Though no matter how many times I listen to it, I can never even come close to memorizing Doom’s raps. He was so ahead of his time.

Close but no krills, toast for po nils, post no bills. Coast to coast Joe Shmoe’s flows ill, go chill. Not supposed to overdose on No-Doz pills.

I wish I could be as amazing with words as Doom. The way he rhymes words that share no context, and have them actually make sense, makes me want to cry. I’m tearing up in the car right now actually. This is why I need to stop getting driving high. One of these days I’m going to get in another car accident, and I might actually die. Than again, dying sounds like it could be fun, unless you actually die. If I get in a near fatal accident, I would have so much attention on me, plus I would have an excuse to sleep all day.

Old friends and family would be coming out of the woodwork to bring balloons and flowers to my hospital bed! Hopefully they bring white flowers, those are my new favorite kind honestly. Dude, now I’m way too excited thinking about risking death just to get 15 minutes of fame, then again, I’m pretty sure people have done worse things for attention. Oh well, I just made it to Edgar’s house. Maybe the thought bubble will still be waiting for me in the car once I leave.


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I don’t know what I should do first—get high, or thank Sandra for being such a good girlfriend. Should I thank her?—I feel like I’ve been inflating her ego a bit too much lately. Then again, I rather fill her with hot air than to blow smoke up her ass the way I usually do. She says I pipe her up, or some stupid shit slang word that sounds like pipe. I guess it means I get her in the mood for sex, because she always wants my pipe right after I pipe her up with hot air. I still rather blow smoke above all, weed is the only thing I ever want inside my pipe.

I’m already high.

Something Sinister To It..

Up and down, it’s the fat lurker running across lawns to find where the pussy at

Try to calm down. You’d think I’m a cat burglar the way I’m looking to get my cap peeled back.

Just hear me out, I’m a nice guy, and hard worker! Just spending my free time looking to lick some cat! Stop lookin’ at me like I’m a vulture!

It’s the culture that’s fucked! Not me!

Everyone thinks about pussy! Even in their sleep!

Plus it’s the weekend, and shawdy over there lookin’ to get fucked.

Yeah she’s drinking with her friends, but I can give her something that’ll make her go crazy, with extra nuts.

You know what they say, if you ask every girl, one will eventually say yes! So take your guesses!

I’ve been on twelve dates! “Really? That’s impressive!”

Unfortunately, some people are quick to jump to conclusions and end up landing in confusion.

Haters can hop off my dick and do a backflip into some dog piss, that’ll get me sprung.

I’m sorry that was harsh mame, do you want a kiss, with some tongueand extra nuts?

Don’t hate me for grabbing more pussy than the commander and chief,

Love me because I do it consensually.

Anyways, it’s all good! (Easton Adams is a character).

The Importance of Peaceful Protest

As opposition to the current administration continues to grow, protests around the country have grown more frequent, or at least more frequently covered by social media. Consequently, this new found exposure allows people to see the ugliest moments of these otherwise peaceful protests. This allows opponents of the movement to vilify the protest as a whole, leaving the protest to become remembered as a failure in the eyes of partisan news outlets. It is such a shame that it only takes one link to render a chain useless.

When participating in a protest, remember that you represent the movement. Should you do something regretful, your action reflects on those who did not. Have respect for your cause, if you bring material for your protest, make sure it is appropriate and sensitive to the issue at hand. Bringing unnecessary attention to yourself could be seen as a mockery of the event if executed improperly.

Public speaking is important, especially when speaking to a crowd with the entirety of social media ready to dissect and analyze every statement you make. Planned speeches leave a huge impact. One of the advantages of having social media at your dispense, is that even your fiercest opponents could watch your speech and be swayed by your passion.

When approaching an issue, it is important to look at them in a non partisan view, political beliefs should not be inherent. Just as all long term issues, we often feel compelled to remain consistent. If we were to remain forever consistent with our views, there will eventually be no room for progression. Protests should come with it strict adherence to the movement, this creates a community, then form assemblies. The protesters go from solely wanting to benefit from the movement, to benefiting the movement as a main priority.

Another form of civil disobedience is boycotting. Cesar Chavez has proved that boycotting is an effective form of protest with his strikes for better working conditions.

With assemblies, more work and planning could go into future demonstrations. Common understandings develop within the group, leading to a less tense attitude toward protesting. Tensions would ease since you would be working with those you are at the very least familiar with. Remaining as calm and civil as possible in the face of your opponent will agonize them more than any physical injuries. The benefits of peacefully assembling will make itself known when your opponents have less ammunition to strike down your cause with. If it wasn’t for protests and rebellion, we would all be in chains. Every successful movement, breaks a link.

Pragmatism or Idealism

Rise and shine

Pull me out of this dream

Surrounded by too many sheep

Just to let me fall back asleep

Pull me out of this dream

Nah, just let me be

Never have I felt so empty

A technique, I’ve mastered since the first time I had a wet dream.

Lamenting, every day, yet she’s the one whose body needs some resting.

Why god, did you give me a dick instead of a pussy and a nice rear,

Because the only thing my magic wand is good for is making girls disappear.

It ain’t because it’s too small, my ego too delicate like a feather

My brain’s too small, plus I hit it and quit it like floyd mayweather.

It’s no wonder I get black balled, I wonder if I’ll ever get my act together.

When I was sick, I made a promise to never let my dick get in the way of my shit again

Yet here I am, swiping my way through life, and pussy is my only friend.